Facing the Past
by AhmoseInarus
Summary: Let Me In: 31 - Reid finally gets to confront Terry Posadas. When Reid makes Hotch promise to let him do it his way, this confrontation may be harder for Hotch than Reid... Rated M for Adult Themes


Facing the Past

Ahmose Inarus

Disclaimer: No own. Piss off.

SLASH WARNING! H/R, mentions of the molestation of a minor.

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><p>MID MORNING, CALIFORNIA<p>

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><p>Hotch and Reid pulled into the parking lot, and stared up at the prison before them.<p>

"… Are you sure you want to do this?" Hotch asked. Reid looked at him, then nodded.

"He's more likely to open up to me, anyway." Reid told the older man.

"I don't like it."

"I'll be okay Hotch. I'm not his type. Not anymore." And Reid smiled. "But your concern is touching." And he leaned in and gently kissed his lover on the lips. Hotch sighed, reaching up and running his fingers through the long, golden brown locks.

"Well… I'll be right there…"

"I know." Reid said, and they headed towards the building. They went through the entire process of checking in and meeting with the Warden, Reid without noticing anything… His entire mind was focused on the upcoming interview. And finally, he was staring into the small interview room at a man he had thought he would never want to see again.

Terry Posadas.

His only friend in college. Until Reid learned WHY the young man had decided to befriend a fifteen year old boy… Terry was teetering on the line between a hebephile and an ephebophile, hebephilia being a sexual preference for young teens entering puberty, and ephebolphilia being the preference for adolescents.

Indeed, when Reid was a 15 year old college sophomore, Terry slipped him something in a drink, and molested him… fortunately he hadn't done much… just stripped and stroked his skin before masturbating at the sight of the youth… after that, Reid had gone to his RA next door to him the dorm. He never told his RA what was wrong, but his RA sent Terry packing, and Terry dropped out of school at the end of the semester. Several years later, Reid had heard that the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit had caught Terry… after he had become a serial rapist and murderer. Somehow, Reid had known that he had been Terry's first.

And now it had all come full circle. Facing his last month of life on Death Row, Terry had agreed to take part in the FBI's study of serial criminals, and Reid was to do the interview. He was to face the man who had betrayed and molested him. Reid was ready for closure.

"Ready?" Hotch asked, gently. Reid looked up at him, and nodded.

"Ready as I'll ever be." He said with a smile. Hotch nodded.

"I'll be right, here."

"Thanks. And Aaron?"

"Yeah?"

"Stop worrying." Reid told him with a grin, and after a moment, Hotch returned it. "Do NOT come in." Reid told him, suddenly. "I know what I'm doing. If I need you, you'll know. But TRUST me to do this MY way." Hotch stared at Reid for a long time, then nodded. Reid smiled. "Thank you." And the SAC watched with pride as Reid turned and stepped into the room.

Terry Posadas looked up, and eyed the Agent with surprise.

"Good morning, Terry." Reid greeted, more at ease that Hotch had ever seen, and filled with confidence. Reid sat down at the table, and Hotch was glad the the window faced the side of the table… he could see both Terry, AND Reid's faces.

Terry eyed him up and down, leaning away. "Don't you call me by my name like that, fed." He snorted. "You don't know me."

Reid sat down and arranged his files and papers, then folded his hands on the table top and looked Terry in the eyes.

"But I do know you, Terry." He said. Terry stared him in the eyes, and his own narrowed, filling with nervous suspicion.

"… Who are you?" Terry asked.

"Supervisory Special Agent Doctor Spencer Reid."

Terry's entire body tensed. His eyes widened and his mouth fell open.

"… S-Spencer?" Reid nodded.

"It's been a long time." Reid said, casually. "The last time I saw you was when you drugged and molested me in my dorm room at college." Terry jumped to his feet.

"This is some kind of trick!" He gasped.

"No. I'm here to do your interview."

"You're NOT FBI!"

"Here." Reid said, pulling out his wallet and opening it, laying it down on the table. "My badge and credentials." He said. "I entered the Academy right after I got my third PhD at CalTech."

"No! Hell no, man!"

"You know who pulled me into the BAU straight out of graduation?" Reid asked.

"This is NOT happening!" Terry howled.

"… Jason Gideon. I'm sure you remember the others on my team… Derek Morgan and Aaron Hotchner?"

"This is fuckin' IMPOSSIBLE!"

"I catch bastards like you for a living, Terry." Reid smirked. "It's my LIFE."

Terry paced back and forth, staring at Reid in shock. His dark brown eyes were wild, and he kept running his hands through dark hair. He pointed at the young agent.

"You lie…"

"Jason Gideon was my mentor." Reid said with a slight smile. "He taught me more about this job than almost anyone. Derek Morgan looks out for me. He's my best friend. The friend that YOU pretended to be." Terry stopped pacing and stared at Reid. Reid stared back.

"Now then." Reid finally said. "Calm down and sit. It's not like I'm here to press charges, the Statute of Limitations is WELL up." Terry hesitated, then slowly did as he was told. "So. It's best to start at the beginning." Reid sighed, opening the first folder. "Let's start when you were a kid."

"You know all that." Terry snorted. "It's in the file, and believe it or not, everything I told you in college was true. And I know your memory. So let's talk about something else. I don't wanna talk about my childhood. I'm not here for therapy. You're here to ask me about my crimes, so ask."

Reid stared at Terry for a long time, then just launched into it. "According to the Bureau's records, your first victim was Matthew Sparks." Reid stared down at the photo of the fourteen year old boy, one of the first four victims before Terry began to murder them…

"But we both know that's not true." Reid said, quietly. "Your first… was me." Terry stared silently. "Am I right?" Terry looked away. "I am. So let's start there. Why me?"

Terry still said nothing.

"Well?" Reid asked.

"… For starters, you were convenient. Youngest kid on campus, we had a class together, and you were completely alone with without any friends. It was easy to get close to you. But most of all… Because I couldn't help it." Terry finally whispered. "You were… perfect. Soft and smooth and…. Everything I wanted… I was just… drawn to you. And then I saw you take off your shirt one day… and I couldn't… I had to… feel you."

"I was fifteen."

"Yeah… how many eighteen year olds out there looked like you did?" Terry snorted. "I can't help it that the bodies I'm attracted to are never legal… It's not my fault that by the time they're legal, their skin is rough and hairy and…" Terry looked away with a grimace of disgust. "Even you… My God, Spencer…" He pulled a cigarette from the box in his pocket and stuck it between his lips, picking up the lighter from the table. With a sigh, he cupped his hand over the end of the cigarette as he lit it up, puffing on it heavily. Then he tossed the lighter down and removed the cigarette from his lips, letting out a long exhale. Reid fought not to make a face as the acrid smell of the smoke wafted over him.

"YOU still look young as hell." He pointed at Reid, cigarette still between his fingers. "How old are you now?" Reid didn't answer. "You look like you're eighteen. But you're what… twenty five? Six? Seven? Hell, I can't remember how long ago… but my God, you were beautiful. I only wish I had more than that one night."

In the other room, Hotch narrowed his eyes and clenched his teeth.

"What would you have done to me?" Reid asked, and Hotch wanted to call the interview off right then and there… this could NOT be healthy for Reid… what if it sent him into a flashback? He was still working through PTSD after Coronado, Paloma, Willow Ridge for God's sake, he KNEW that! He always would…

"Say what?" Terry was asking, looking surprised.

"What would you have done to me?" Reid asked again. "If you'd had the chance to do more…?" Terry stared at Reid, surprised, but then he took a drag on his cigarette and leaned forward, chuckling.

"To you?" He asked, a lecherous grin on his face. "Everything." Reid just blinked, no expression on his face except for mild curiosity. Terry stood and began to slowly meander about the room. As he began to speak, Reid scribbled notes on the paper before him.

"That night, when you didn't answer the door… I was gonna try it without giving you anything first… Strip you naked… feel you skin… smell you… taste you…" He slowly paced around the room, then pointed an accusing finger at Reid. "I know you were a virgin… you can't tell me that you weren't…"

"I won't." Reid said in a light, offhand kind of tone.

"I'm sure your skin tasted sweet…" Terry hissed, and Hotch found himself holding back a low growl… the lion in his chest was pacing… snarling in his anxiety and fury at someone talking to HIS gazelle like that. NO ONE talked to his gazelle like that… But the lion froze and tensed, growling when the man's hands fell to his gazelle's shoulders and squeezed them a bit. Reid didn't move for a moment, but then continued to scribble on his paper. And discretly under the table, he lifted his left hand and showed his palm to the mirror, in a silent order to Hotch to stay calm and stay put; he was fine.

The lion in the Unit Chief's chest snorted his disagreement, trying to convince Hotch to go in there and take their gazelle back. But Hotch respected Reid's wishes and stayed put, telling the corrections officers with him to do the same; he would let them know when they needed to intervene. The lion resumed his pacing.

"I would have touched you all over…" Terry purred, beginning to massage Reid's shoulders.

"It's hard for me to write with you doing that." The doctor said in an annoyed tone. Terry chuckled, and his hands slid down Reid's chest. Reid froze, narrowing his eyes.

"I would have touched you until you were moaning… and then… I'd go between your legs…" A hand began sliding down Reid's abdomen. Immediately, Reid wrapped his hand around Terry's wrist in a harsh grip.

"DON'T." He snarled in a low, firm voice. Terry stood still for a moment, then chuckled and walked away. Reid watched him go with a glare.

"YOU asked."

"I asked you to TELL me. Not demonstrate. Are we going to be able to keep our hands to ourselves, or do I have to send you to your cell?" Reid asked. Terry gave him a look, not liking the implications Reid was making regarding disciplining a child.

"Smart ass."

"Behave like an adult and I'll treat you like one." Reid said calmly, still writing, not once throughout the entire exchange having bothered to look back up at the man after the initial glare. Terry snorted and puffed on his cigarette before holding it out and tapping of the ash at the end. "So… you were saying?" Reid prodded.

"What do you want me to say?" Terry asked, now getting a bit angry. "That I would have jerked you off? Put you in my mouth until you were cumming, screaming my name?"

"I doubt it." Reid snorted with a wry smirk. Terry glared.

"I would have… licked up every bit of it…" Terry said. "And while I was doing that, I would have the lube out… it's no fun dry, you know."

"I know." Reid said, casually. Terry gave him an odd look, but then continued.

"I'd put my finger in that tight little ass of yours… Just like all the others after you…" Reid frowned at that. "Of course, as a virgin, you would start to get scared… you would have been… whimpering just like that night… But it would still feel good. So I would put in another… You would have been so tight… I just know it. Are you still tight, Spencer?" Terry asked, shooting a grin at Reid.

"So I've been told." Reid stated, calmly. But Hotch could hear the slight tremor in his lover's tone.

"I'll bet you are…" Terry hissed, and the lion roared in anger when Hotch saw Terry's eyes raking over his lover's body, mentally undressing and molesting him. And suddenly, Hotch was very worried. Reid had told him not to worry… that he had grown out of Terry's type… but that didn't seem to be discouraging Terry very much.

"With two fingers, there's a burning… At the third finger, it would start to hurt, I think… Always does the first few times… sometimes it never really stops hurting… you just learn to like the pain. Tell me Spencer. Did you learn to like the pain?" Reid didn't respond… He just stared down at his paper, but he was no longer writing. Hotch frowned, worried.

"I would move them in and out…" Terry hissed, moving behind Reid and gripping his shoulders again, leaning over and breathing his words into the young man's ear. "I would watch you squirm… your moans would make me so hard…" Reid turned his head slightly, no expression on his face, but he was tensing slightly, especially when the hands on his shoulders began to squeeze and massage. Reid's body swayed back and forth from the force of the man's touches, and slowly he closed his eyes.

"And then…" Reid shivered at the hot breath in his ear, "when you were good and slick and loose… all ready for me… I'd push into you… maybe I'd got smooth and easy…. After all… it would have been your first time… But then again, maybe I'd just go in fast and deep in one go…" Reid shuddered, feeling the blood flow increase in his cheeks as he opened his mouth to breath faster, and deeper… But at the same time, under the table, he held up a hand and twitched his fingers down a couple of times.

Hotch knew immediately that Reid was telling him to back down and stay out of this… but he was FURIOUS. The lion in his chest was going ballistic, running around and trying to claw its way through his ribs, rip its way out of his chest to go after that son of a bitch who had his hands on HIS gazelle. Hotch was only seconds away from going just as ballistic… only years of practice of keeping his cool allowed him to prevail, standing there and continuing to watch.

"You would cry…" Terry chuckled to Reid. "It would hurt like a bitch… but your tears would be so sweet… and then you would start to bleed between your legs… because your body, young as it was, was not ready for something MY size."

Reid stood fluidly, letting out a condescending laugh.

"You're kidding?" He blurted, spinning and looking Terry in the eye. Terry blinked, looking surprised at the grin on Reid's face. "Don't talk to me like you're well endowed, Terry." Reid announced, looking highly amused. "I've seen bigger. I've HAD bigger." Reid leaned in, smirking. "I've enjoyed bigger…" He hissed. Then, his smirk widened to a grin. "Like my boyfriend." And he stood up straight, sauntering over to the window and peering out at the exercise yard. "Sounds like what you would have done to me wasn't anything special. And what you would have done it WITH? Well… trust someone who knows… It's not anything special either." Terry narrowed his eyes. Reid turned to face him. "If you're trying to shake me up, it's not working. So. Can we do the interview I came to do, or are you just going to waste my time by telling me how you WISH things had gone?"

Hotch winced. "Oh God, Spencer, too far…" He gasped. And he was right.

"You little BITCH!" Terry suddenly screamed, and lunged. Reid jumped, surprised. But as Terry flew at him, he held up a hand towards the mirror and shouted "DON'T!" Terry thought Reid was shouting at him, but Hotch knew better.

"DAMMIT, REID!" He yelped, the correction officers anxiously watching the FBI Agent pacing in anger. But for the moment, Hotch respected his lover's wishes, and made sure the CO did as well. In the room, Reid was against the wall, his wrists pinned above his head, and Terry was pressing up against him.

"You're predictable, Terry…" Reid gasped, shaking his head. "That's why it was so easy for my team to catch you."

"You know you wanted it…" Terry snapped, eyes blazing. "You were a little slut!"

"How could I be a slut if I was a virgin? You said it yourself… you knew I was." Reid pointed out.

"You would have become one, the moment I had you. You would have loved it!"

"You weren't that confident back when you drugged me."

"You love the cock, Spencer… You've admitted it!" He took Reid's hand and forced it down between his own legs, forcing Reid to feel his genitals. Reid's eyes widened slightly in shock and alarm.

"I love my BOYFRIEND. And not for his penis."

Hotch nearly flushed at hearing Reid talking about his manhood.

"But you love it. You think about it… fantasize…"

"I do." Reid said, nodding. "But not about you."

Terry snarled, then suddenly pushed himself away from Reid and stalked across the room. Reid took a moment to take a deep breath, then straightened his clothes and looked at the mirrored window, nodding his thanks to Hotch for leaving him to handle it. Then he gave a subtle wink and turned back to Terry.

"So… let's talk about the others." Reid said.

"No. I'm done talking to you." Terry snarled.

"Don't you think you owe it to me?" Reid asked, propping himself against the edge of the table and folding his arms, calmly. The room was silent for a long time.

"So…" Terry said, suddenly. "You have a boyfriend?"

"Yes." Reid said.

"How serious?"

"… Very." Reid answered.

"I see." Terry sighed, suddenly very calm. "You've grown a lot, Spencer."

"Disappointed?"

"Yeah, kinda… you were so… perfect. The prettiest thing I'd ever seen."

"Until you found Matthew Sparks?"

"He was nice." Terry shrugged. "But he wasn't you."

"I see." Reid nodding. "Tell me about the others."

"… Matthew… was actually the second after you." Terry admitted.

"There's another victim?" Reid asked sharply, eyes snapping up to look at Terry.

"… Yeah. Sweet little thing…"

"What is his name, Terry?"

"… His name… WAS Daniel Facundo."

"Was?"

"He's dead." Terry said, shortly.

"… you killed him?"

"No." Terry sighed, walking over and peering out the window. "But I may as well have." He finally snorted.

"What do you mean?"

"… He died running home. I… had him in the bathroom of his school… he had stayed after. I was there on a job, and passed him in the hall. I had to have him. So I pulled him into the bathroom and…"

"You raped him." Reid finished.

"Yes. When I was done, he ran. Right out of the school and into the street. I saw it on the news the next day."

"That must have been tough." Reid said, gently.

"… It was a long time before I touched another. But then I saw Matthew, and…"

"You had to have him." Reid said. Terry turned and faced him.

"… Yeah."

"Tell me about… Max Bianco."

"HE was amazing." Terry said with a reminiscent smile. "The most… AMAZING eyes… especially when they sparkled with tears…"

"And Adam Morrison?"

"Blonde curls… blue eyes… he looked like an angel. And he was my Fallen Angel."

"Eduardo Moreno."

"He was an athlete. I watched him play soccer. Strong legs on that one… the most magnificent thighs… made my mouth water."

"You left bite marks over his inner thighs…"

"I had to taste."

"So let me ask you this…" Reid said, opening another file. "What changed with Evan Adler?"

"Hm?"

"Why did you kill him?"

"… Because… I almost got caught."

"What do you mean?"

"After Eduardo, the cops got a little too close for comfort. The kid told them too much."

Reid sighed and shook his head. "So next time… you were careful."

"… Yeah. Let's just say I realized after that how lucky I was that YOU never talked."

Reid visibly flinched and looked down, filled with guilt.

"And so…" The agent forced himself to say. "You raped and murdered fourteen year old Evan Adler, sixteen year old Thomas Graffunder, fifteen year old Bradley Courtnall, fifteen year old Andrew Mc Kenzie, seventeen year old Dylan Cardoso, sixteen year old Marshall Rosenthall and fifteen year old Ryan Clayborn."

"I guess so." Terry sighed. "And they were all… so sweet… Like you. I wish I was able to have you the way I had them."

"I'm sure." Reid said, calmly.

"You know, Spencer… You and I… we could have been something together."

"No. We couldn't." Reid said, firmly.

"You sound so sure."

"You drugged me and molested me." Reid grunted. "In that moment…" He trailed off and shook his head.

"… I'm sorry." Terry said, delicately.

Reid lifted his gaze and stared at the man. "… No you're not. You're only sorry you didn't go all the way the first night."

"So what if I am?" Terry asked. Reid sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "Can't believe you're FBI. Why did you end up doing that?"

"Sometimes I wonder myself… often times when I do… I think of you."

"Well. Nice to know that you think of me from time to time."

"Don't flatter yourself. It's never in a good light. You're the one I wish I could forget. Not even sure why I came to do this… being in the same room with you makes me sick. And I guarantee… all those boys you hurt feel the same." Reid looked up and found Terry glaring at him.

"What do you want from me, Spencer?"

"Tell me why."

"I told you."

"… That's it then?" Reid asked.

"What do you want me to say? I was attracted to you and you were convenient!" Tery shouted, standing abruptly and slamming a fist down onto the table. Startled, Reid stood. Terry moved over to him and quickly had Reid trapped between him and the table. "You were a young, hot little thing and you were RIPE for the picking!" Terry raised a hand as if to run it through Reid's hair, but it just hovered there, a couple of inches from his face. "You were all alone… There was no one watching out for you! No one to protect you!" Reid raised his hands to try and force the man off, but Terry seized his wrists and shook him. Reid's eyes widened. "You were a lamb thrown to the wolves! It was all a matter of who got to you first! Well, I saw you first and I was going to have you! All I had to do was lure you in… and you were just this innocent, naïve little thing and it was EASY."

Reid cried out as he was shoved back onto the table, and the next thing he knew, Terry's hips were between his legs. He stared up at the man, eyes wide and consumed with fright. Terry stared down, and then, slowly, an eerie smile crossed his face.

"Lookit that…" Terry breathed, a look of wonder and delight appearing. "Spencer… THERE you are…" And he ran a hand over Reid's face. "That's the Spencer I remember…"

Reid froze when he felt the stirring in Terry's pants, pressing into his own groin.

In the blink of an eye, Reid cycled through several emotions… shock, terror, disgust… then something else. His eyes flashed and he arched his back, twisting on the table.

"GET OFF OF ME!" He screamed, hearing the door slam open. He lashed out with his foot, catching Terry in the chest and sending him stumbling back. Reid leapt off of the table, landing nimbly and was on Terry in a flash.

The next thing anyone knew, Terry was against the wall and Reid was right in his face. But not in an aggressive manner. Reid was calm, and quiet and collected, as though the last thirty seconds hadn't even happened.

"You're nothing." The boy breathed, staring down the serial rapist and murderer. "Nothing but a memory. An unpleasant memory. I'm not afraid of you. I don't have nightmares about you. You're a passing thought. Just another painful part of my past that has been overshadowed and eclipsed by so many other things." Reid shook his head. "You have no power over me, Terry. I was fooling myself to think that you did… I thought I would be scared facing you, but I'm not. I think I would have more trouble facing my High School bullies. Because you're nothing. You're going to die in this place. And even if they offered to let me witness the execution, I wouldn't." Reid smiled and stepped back. "Because quite frankly… I just don't care enough to bother…" And he turned, gathered the files on the table, and walked out of the room without a backward glance, not even caring enough to say goodbye.

Hotch stared at Terry for a moment, and Terry stared back. Then, Agent Hotchner just turned and walked away, disappearing. And the CO's took Terry back to his cell to live out his last days.

"Spencer." Hotch called, jogging after Reid. Reid didn't say anything. The checked out of the penitentiary, and headed to the car. As they got onto the road, Reid turned and looked at Hotch.

"Thank you." Hotch looked back at Reid, and the boy smiled.

"For what?"

"For letting me do it my way. And trusting me to handle it. For not being… TOO overprotective."

"Don't you ever do that again." Hotch growled, scowling at the low chuckle that Reid let out. A moment later, Reid interlinked his fingers with Hotch.

"… I love you." Reid said, gently. Hotch turned and looked at him, then lifted his hand and pressed a kiss to it.

"I love you too, baby."

"Can we get something to eat before we head home?"

"Of course."

"Good."

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><p>END<p>

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><p>Hope you enjoyed! Alot of you said you wanted to see Reid confront Terry after my fic "Speaking of the Past", so I hope it lived up to your expectations! Please review!<p> 


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